Bring me the head of Woody Hayes!

Earl Vorhees was a proud graduate of The Ohio State University and an unapologetic Buckeye booster. Over the years, he was responsible for creating a number of Ohio State commemorative items, from posters to coins to autographed footballs. In fact, he was the guy behind “100 Years of Ohio State Football” promotion. One of his last projects was a limited edition bronze bust of Coach Woody Hayes.

While Earl was working with the artist on finalizing the sculpture, they made several plaster casts of the mold. On one of his frequent visits to Columbus from his home in Florida, he brought one of the casts to show me. He didn’t want it back because it had a few flaws, so I put it in the garage. Several years went by and Earl passed away. When I was cleaning out the garage on day, I ran across the plaster head and decided to put it out in our garden. It was either that or throw it away.

The bust had a steel rod protruding from the neck, so I simply stuck it in the ground in the northwest corner of our yard facing southeast. As it so happened, it was football season. After the first game of the year, which Ohio State won, I noticed Woody had turned and was now facing southwest – in the direction of Ohio Stadium, some four or five miles away. I figured it must be some sort of prank, so I turned it back to the southeast.

The following weekend, the Buckeyes won again. And again the plaster bust of the old coach was facing southwest. Again, I figured it was some sort of joke by a neighbor, so I turned it back to the original direction. This went on for several weeks. Each time, Ohio State would win, Woody’s head would be turned towards the stadium, and afterwards I would turn it back to face the southeast.

Then one day I happened to notice there was a lot of cat hair on the plaster head. Curious, I started paying attention to the neighbor’s cat. It turned out that it liked to brush against the bust of Woody Hayes, always on the east side, gently nudging the head in a clockwise direction as its body rubbed against the bill of Woody’s cap. By week’s end, Coach Woodrow Wilson Hayes was once again facing Ohio Stadium.

The mystery solved, I didn’t give it much more thought – that is until the Buckeyes lost a game. When I looked out across my backyard, Woody was still facing southeast, away from Ohio Stadium. The cat apparently had stopped brushing up against the plaster bust. So, naturally, I took it upon myself to turn Woody back to face Ohio Stadium, where he remains to this day. Sadly, the bill of his cap is gone, as are his glasses, and his face is slowly eroding away.

The magic is gone, too. Woody’s head no longer guarantees a win.

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